An Adventure in Failing

Well. I failed.

I had an idea, I put it into action, I realized I couldn’t handle it, and so I gave up.

Here’s some context: A week and a half ago I opened an Etsy shop. I created a business Instagram for a candle-making / writing prompt idea that I felt excited about.

But… after six photos posted, two orders, and lots of encouragement… I realized a lot of things at once. I wasn’t ready, I didn’t have the energy, I wasn’t passionate about it… kind of a perfect storm for failure, as it were.

So I’ve decided close my Etsy shop, shut down the business IG, and put my candle-making on the back burner for right now. After a week and a half.

“So… what changed?” you may be thinking.

Well. Honestly, I think the things driving me had more to do with what I felt I was supposed to do than what I really wanted to do. I wanted to monetize my creativity. I wanted to fit in. I wanted to stretch myself. But none of that equals passion.

So. I failed. I failed big. I failed loud. I failed publicly.

But I think I’m okay with failing this way, and here’s why:

I stepped outside my comfort zone. I took a leap into something that I thought I wanted. And I realized it wasn’t what I wanted.

I do need to apologize to my customers (and to Teagan and Alyssa – your orders are on the way and thank you, thank you, thank you) and to the members of a Facebook group who so enthusiastically and genuinely encouraged me when I opened my shop. I’m sorry.

What it comes down to is this: I see and respect so many people for making and creating and giving so much of themselves into their craft. They are dedicated. They are hardworking. They are exceptionally talented. They are hungry to learn.

And I realized that I don’t feel that way about w+w… at least not yet.

At this time in my life I feel that way about writing. About creating a space for people to feel welcome and challenged in their work through The Writing Collective. About learning and growing at my job. About learning how to love my husband better and to be the best wife I can be. About other dreams bubbling beneath my thin-ish skin. And, unfortunately, I didn’t realize those things until opening and announcing my shop in a very public way.

But I need to live my truth, I think. I need to make space in my life for the passions evolving in me. And I think that realization, in and of itself, is a success.

So. Anyway. Here’s to failing. Here’s to succeeding.

And here’s learning from the adventure ♥

Love,

M.

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